Every year, I write a blog post on the night before my birthday, reflecting on the year that has passed. It’s a wonderful way to look back on my life and see how much has changed and how much I have changed. I am now entering chapter 32 of my story. But first, I want to reflect on the last year and how much I have grown from my experiences, the good and the bad.
Thirty-one has been a mixed bag of a year for me. The universe has continued to bless me with lots of love, amazing people, great memories and opportunities to succeed and be happy. However, there have been moments in the past twelve months that have challenged me, urged me to pause and to think about what it is I want in my life and who I am destined to be. It’s a year that has definitely tested my strength and my close circle of favourite people, my therapist and writing poetry have all been my saving grace.
Sometimes I can’t believe I’m still here. If you had told 16-year-old me that this would be my life, if you described it to her in great detail and told her everything she would do and everything she would heal from in the next 16 years of her life, she would think you were making it up. I think of her often, sixteen-year-old me. I do this for her. I keep going. Even when I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. Even when I feel exhausted by the ever-changing tides of this life. I do this for her. I remember this sixteen-year-old girl well; she had experienced some of the aches of living, but she had no idea what battles she would have to face to survive her adulthood. Now that I am turning 32, I remind myself that I am doing this for her. She believed in hope. She believed in beauty. She believed in the power of self-love. So I try to channel that inner whimsy a little bit every day. I try to remember that my inner child is still inside of me, somewhere, beaming at how proud she is of me, for getting this far, for clinging on to the threads of hope, even when life takes me to places I never expected.
Chapter thirty-one started strong. I saw Taylor Swift live in concert at The Eras Tour and it was the best night ever! I have seen her live a few times now, but what made this more special was that I spent it with my partner and favourite person, JJ. Shortly after this, I started a new job. I work part-time at an autism charity and I really love what I do. In my last birthday post, I was still working full-time at a school, and I was burned out, so this job has been so much better for my health and wellbeing. Having less hours of work in the day gives me more time and space to focus on my many hobbies, creating content and focus on being well. I have also been paying closer attention to my health this past twelve months, I have been working with a hormone clinic to help manage my PMDD (pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder). It’s going to be a long journey of trial and error, seeing what combination of supplements, diets, exercise, stress management tools and herbal teas can reduce my symptoms, and I do feel like I am experiencing fewer bad days in my luteal phase with every cycle, so fingers crossed that my new knowledge is giving me some results. Being in my thirties, has made self-aware and more in tune with my body and what it needs and what I need to do to heal it from previous years.
There have also been lots of memories made this year with some beautiful people. Spending time visiting my partner’s family, seeing my nephew recently (I can’t believe how big he is now) and watching my little sister get engaged and being part of the group of women in the family that helped her pick out her wedding dress for the big day next year. I have had catch-ups with an old school friend whom I have just reconnected with last year, and celebrated a hen night with another school friend whom I have known since I was 11 years old. I feel extremely fortunate that I still have people in my life who have always known me and have seen me blossom and bloom into the version of me that I am today. I went to a self-love club festival with my best friend, and I have been there for her on the other end of the phone as she has gone through a life-altering surgery at the beginning of this year. We had a house party for my partner’s birthday in August (that was a lot of people in our house), but it makes me happy knowing that I have so many interesting, colourful characters in my life because of my relationship with him. One of my favourite moments last year was the midsummer party we attended with all of our friends, all sitting around a fire roasting marshmallows, holding my partner’s hand, I found myself pausing and looking around, a core memory was being made. I had a similar moment during the Taylor Swift concert, thinking: Wow, how beautiful is this moment? I want to remember this. I have so much gratitude for my life.
Me and my partner celebrated our three year anniversary together in February, we’ve dressed up and gone to another Halloween party (I went as Taylor Swift), we’ve been to the aquarium, had loads of date nights, went to see Wicked live at the theatre, attended a rock festival and had so many fun times with our friends. I love our little life together and we’re about to start to our next adventure in January, he has a new job, so we are both moving to Edinburgh in Scotland, which is going to be a big change! But I think we’re ready for it!
In chapter thirty-one, I also joined a club for neurodivergent women, they get together a few times a month for a book club, a creative club and a social club. I go to all of them, or as many as I can, and it’s been amazing to connect with so many wonderful women who also see the world the way that I do and have similar struggles. Never underestimate the power of community! I was also really fortunate to get an amazing opportunity from this as well. In April this year, I facilitated my first in-person poetry workshop, and it ran so smoothly, and I got fantastic feedback. I can’t wait to do something like that again. I am working on some ideas for some online workshops that I’m going to do in relation to my new Substack. Oh yes, I joined Substack. I took a three-month break from all social media at the beginning of 2025. I found that my creativity well was drying up, and I was creating content for the wrong reasons. I was so exhausted by algorithms and trying to increase my engagement and get people to read my poems or buy my books. It didn’t feel fun anymore. So I took a well-deserved break and I started writing by hand in journals again, and then I started my new Substack Threads of Hope, which is a combination of newsletters, essays, poetry and notes about my life. I guess I’ve caught the blog-writing/long-form content bug again, and I’m enjoying it!
I’ve been submitting to lots of poetry journals, magazines and prizes in the past twelve months as well, and I got longlisted for one poetry prize and got the runner-up prize for another. I’m so so close to winning one, I just need to submit the right poem at the right time to the right place, I am manifesting it and putting it out into the universe — what will be, will be! There have been lots of trips to bookshops, to maker’s markets, book fairs selling my books (I have three more planned for the rest of 2025) and I also went to an online healing through writing festival and an online creative writing festival for autistic writers. I submitted to opportunities this year that I never have before, and I am growing in confidence as a poet and author and I am starting to believe in my talent and potential.
In chapter thirty-one, I also received my official Autism and ADHD diagnosis. It has been a two-year journey, and when I heard those words from my assessor, I cried, happy tears! Since then, I have been learning more about neurodivergence and how to change environments and experiences to accommodate myself. This has been a powerful thing for me, and the more time that passes, the braver I am becoming at setting boundaries, knowing my limits and educating myself and others. I’ve made a new friend in the past year too, who is also neurodivergent, I feel like I am attracting the right people in my life and I hope that life continues to be kind to me in this way. I also started up my embroidery and cross-stitch business again Positive Stitch, at the start of 2025, I am taking it slow, enjoying the art of creating and I’m working on building up enough stock to sell at small maker’s and craft markets early next year. I have had a few custom orders though, which is great!
There have been so many wholesome and lovely moments this year, and I don’t want them to be overshadowed, but there have been a few things that have happened to me in chapter thirty-one that have been intense and have shifted my life in some heavy ways. I don’t want to write about the specifics of them here, but I am proud of myself for fighting my way out of some pretty dark spaces in the past twelve months, too. I am grateful for everything and everyone in my life, and in this chapter, I have grown in so many positive ways, and I am excited to see what awaits me in the next year. My partner and I are moving to Scotland early next year, I’m hoping to release my 3rd poetry book in 2026, and I’m sure so many magical and chaotic moments await me in chapter thirty-two, I’m ready, let’s go!
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